How To Celebrate Someone Who Doesn’t Like Birthdays (2024)

There are plenty of people in the world who find it hard to be happy on days the rest of the world want them to be. Mother’s Day is hard if you’ve lost your own mother, or a child. Christmas is a problem for way more people than we realise. And as for birthdays…

If, like me, you don’t like being the center of attention, and the passing of another year brings unhappy self-reflection, then birthdays aren’t great.

But, that doesn’t mean that we shouldn't celebrate people. In fact, it’s even more important we make an effort to recognise those who don’t like their own birthdays. Trust me, someone in your family or friendship group falls in to this category, they probably just don’t want to make a fuss (it’s that “center of attention” thing again).

Here are three ideas for how you can still make someone special to you feel special… just not on their birthday:

What are we actually trying to say when we wish someone Happy Birthday, scrawl our name on a card and promise to buy them a drink at the bar later on? We’re trying to say that we value them. We’re glad they’re in our life. The world is a better place with them around.

Here’s a clue — there are a load of way better ways to express those feelings and opinions than with the standard birthday card-present-drinks routine.

You know this person. You understand them. You can write a list of 3 things they love to do, or talk about. So pick one, and, at a random date away from their birthday, suggest you share some time with them doing that activity.

“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.” — Lucius Annaeus Seneca

It could be anything — a walk on the beach, a trip to their favourite pub or coffee shop, a re-watch of a film they love. By demonstrating that you know what they like, then giving your time to sharing that with them, you show them how important they are to you.